only you would photoshop your dick
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
