dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
