do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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