I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
