There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
