Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
