that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
