Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
