She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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