Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
