dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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