But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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