i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
PANTIES FOUND
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