Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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