69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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