he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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