Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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