were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know her cup size but not her name....
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