I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize