I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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