oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He better not be in your backpack
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
