I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
