She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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