so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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