Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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