I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
