went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
