I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
