I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
