I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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