our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
