the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
