new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
