Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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