Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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