That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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