you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
