babies were throwing up all over the place
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize