so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
