Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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