Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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