Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
