i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
