Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
