she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
