You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
