I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
