Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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