When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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