I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
