just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
what day is it and did you see me today?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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