He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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